When presenting on the concept and philosophy of inclusion,
I often find it effective to have people reflect on relatable personal
experiences. We all have them….we have a
lot of them in fact. We don’t have to be
a person with special needs to experience times when we felt “included” or
“excluded” at points in our life. So,
let’s take a moment and do that together, shall we? It sets the stage for the bigger picture.
Think back…to a time when you were included in
something. Many of us are drawn back to
times in our childhood when a friend invited us over to play or we were asked
to go to a big party exclusive to the “popular” crowd in school. Maybe someone invited you to sit with them at
lunch or when you were part of a sports team.
By virtue of being a human being and existing in this world, you will
have had experiences I am sure you can reflect back on. Now…how did you FEEL when you were
included? What adjectives could you use
to describe the emotion you felt during that experience?
(This blank space is giving you time to think….)
When I do this in groups, we don’t share the experiences, we
share the words that describe our emotions.
This exercise usually elicits words such as: Accepted; loved; confident; connected;
empowered; cared for; positive; happy; secure….
Now, and I am sure you know where I am going with this,
think back to a time in your life when you were left out of something. When you were “excluded” from a group or from
an event. Perhaps you were chosen last
in gym class or were the only one of all your friends not invited to a party.
(Wait time…..)
Unfortunately I often find people have more of these stories
and experiences that come to mind quickly when we do this activity. It’s staggering how these difficult memories
are still quite near the “surface” of our hearts and minds, even if many years
have passed. We don’t have to think
very hard or dig down very deep to relive the real pain and hurt those experiences
caused. Words this exercise often
prompts are: Judged; insecure; angry;
sad; hated; alone; unfair; rebellious; anxious; afraid; shy; disobedient;
unloved.
One of my favorite podcasts is “This American Life” from
National Public Radio out of Chicago. Each week they take a theme and bring us a
variety of stories all centered around a common premise. A couple of years ago they ran a story
called, “The Kindness of Strangers” and the introductory story was about a man,
in a subway in New York City, who stood by the trains randomly pointing out
people and saying, “You’re in.” Depending
on his decision, however, he could also say to another, “You’re out.” There was no seemingly discernible theme in
his decision making process…it was impossible to decipher or predict a pattern
suggesting who would be fortunate enough to be “in” or who would be so glibly
“out.” And the remarkable thing about
this was, he wasn’t picking these people for anything. In fact, the man who was recounting this
story said that as he walked nearer to this “man of judgment,” he surprised
himself by getting a bit nervous, thinking, “I wonder if he will pick me.” The irony, of course, was that although he
innately wanted to be chosen, there was nothing he was being chosen for and as
quoted by the reporter, “He didn’t particularly look like anyone I would want
to hang out with anyway.”
The bottom
line? It’s innate. Its a human need to be accepted, to feel
included….and how distinctively fearful we are of being excluded.
So why did this man so flippantly believe he had a right to
randomly choose who was and wasn’t in?
This man in the subway, the man randomly choosing people…it doesn’t seem
like he had the right to make such a decision, does it? If it is an innate human need to feel included…and
if being excluded makes us feel angry, sad, hated, alone, rebellious, anxious,
afraid, shy, disobedient and unloved….why in the world do we have to fight so
hard for inclusionary philosophies to dwell within our schools?
It will be a good day, one day, when the word “inclusion” is
indeed MOOT. Why? Because when it is no longer needed, it means
all kids are included…which is their innate human need. Schools wouldn’t consider depriving a human
need like food, water or safety from our children. So why is this any different?
References:
Giangreco, M and Ruelle, K (2002). Absurdities and Realities of Special Education: The Best of Ants...Flying...and Logs. Minnetonka: Peytral Publications.
WBEZ National Public Radio: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/75/Kindness-of-Strangers Originally Aired Sept 12, 1997
No comments:
Post a Comment